Why Are Emotions Important?
Emotions communicate to other people, they influence our actions and everyday life.
People often have intense emotions and if you can't control them well, it often leads to impulsive behaviors. These impulsive behaviors can have long-term negative effects.
Decreasing The Intensity Of Emotions
People all feel emotions all the time. Whether the emotion is felt very little or very strongly, emotions are always there. Oftentimes when people experience really intense emotions it consumes them and they don't know what action to take. If decreasing the intensity of an emotion is possible, it helps to let the person regain control of their mind, body, and actions instead of acting in self-destructive ways.
Decreasing the intensity of emotions is important because of three reasons.
1. When we feel intense emotions we often feel out of control
2. When we feel out of control we often act in impulsive ways
3. When we feel in control of our emotions we also feel in control of other areas of life. This can lead to higher self esteem and more positive feelings about ourselves.
Ride The Wave
Impulses and emotions are always with us, the come and they go much like the tide. They are strong sometimes and weak other times. If we can ride the wave our emotions create instead of acting on our feelings, we can redirect the energy of the emotion and use it in a non-harmful manner.
C= being Calm
A = monitoring Arousal
R= finding rest and Relaxation
E= effectively coping with Emotions
S= getting a health amount of Sleep
Feeling Not Acting
If you feel your emotions and impulses but do not act on them, you can deal with them in a healthy way. It may feel like the impulse and the action happens all at once, but it is actually two different steps. First you experience the impulse and secondly you engage in an action or behavior. Using Ride The Wave can help with this skill.
Problem solving is used to find an effective solution. If the problem can be solved use problem solving, but if it cannot be solved try acceptance skills under distress tolerance.
Steps For Problem Solving
1. Observe and describe the situation. Describe what makes the situation a problem and how you feel about it
2. Brainstorm many solutions. Consider all the possibilities you can and remember don't judge
3. Choose the potential solutions that are likely to work
4. Put the solution into action, try it out
5. Observe the outcomes, are they good? Is the problem improved or solved?
6. Did it work? If so, reward yourself
6. It didn't work? Reward yourself for trying and try a new solution.
Acting Opposite To The Current Emotion
Each emotion has an action, if you partake in this action, the emotion increases or stays with you. One way to change an emotion you are feeling is to do the opposite of that emotion.
Action Urge Example
Gently avoid, be decent
Count your blessings
Let go of controlling others
Follow these steps:
1. Figure out which emotion you are feeling.
2. Ask yourself what action goes with that emotion.
3. Ask yourself if you want to change the emotion.
4. Figure out the opposite action of that emotion.
5. Carry out the opposite action. Completely!
This is simply making lemonade out of lemons. Take a weakness in your life and turn it into a strength that can be more effective in your life.
One example of a lemon being traumatized or suffering. The way you can make this into lemonade is surviving through it and using your stories to help others.
Here are some examples of movies that have this skill in them.
- Catch Me If You Can
- Forrest Gump
- North Country
- Beautiful Mind
- Pursuit of Happyness
- Happy Feet
- Freedom Writers
- Norma Rae
- Can you think of any other movies like this?
Everyone has dandelions in their life, a metaphor for issues or problems that cause trouble. People may spend all their time in the garden trying to weed out these dandelions but, being a resilient plant, the dandelions come back. Obsessing about getting rid of the dandelions can lower your quality of life. Some examples of dandelions include addiction, self injurious behavior, food issues, and perfectionism. You must identify your dandelions and learn strategies to cope with them.
Some examples that happen with me include:
Self injurious behavior: I can give blood with no problem, and I can use it for motivational speaking purposes and trying to help others.
Perfectionism: I could get a job that requires a lot of organization. My life can be nice and neat
Accumulate positive experiences: In the short term do things that are pleasant that you can do right now. In the long term make changes in your life so positive events can occur more often. Work toward goals: make a list of positive events you want, list small steps towards goals, and take the first step. Pay attention to relationships, repair old relationships, reach out for new ones, and work on current ones. Avoid avoiding and avoid giving up.
Build Mastery: Schedule one or more activities every day to build a sense of accomplishment.
Cope ahead of time with emotional situations: Create a plan ahead of time so that you are prepared to cope effectively with emotional situations.
Treat PhysicaL illness
Avoid mood altering drugs
"HAVE" a Great Day!
HAVE a great day will help you focus on healing instead of hurting behaviors. This can give you a sense of control, you can feel empowered and it helps you build a life worth living.
do things that are H ealing not Hurting
A ct in your best interest
be consistent with V alues
E motions are okay to feel