Poems

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Living Proof

Posted by Laura on June 4, 2014 at 2:10 AM Comments comments (0)

You are living proof

Proof that there is hope

Hope for the ones with pain they can’t control

Controlled by their thoughts, negative and bad

Bad enough to break them down, and make them very sad

Sad to a point where they just want to die

Death is a way to escape from this life

Living is a way to hope for a better day

Days can improve with time, but death will end that chance

That chance for a better future

A future filled with hope

Hopeful and bright-eyed, I see your healed scars

Scars that show how strong you are

You are an inspiration

Inspiring the broken and the bruised

The bruises may be strong

But not as strong as you

 

Eyes Can't Cry

Posted by Laura on June 4, 2014 at 2:10 AM Comments comments (0)

Gossamer, frail, fragile, and pale

Skeleton thin,

The things I would do

Thigh gaps and collarbones

Crying eyes and broken homes

I may not be much, still not enough

So I crumble, fall down

And my eyes can’t cry anymore

 

Copy & Fake

Posted by Laura on June 4, 2014 at 2:05 AM Comments comments (0)

Copy and paste

Copy and paste

You’re the same face in a different situation

Outline and trace

Outline and trace

This is the same superficial conversation

Do I Need This?

Posted by Laura on August 14, 2013 at 4:45 AM Comments comments (0)

Tainted little beads of water, salty and cold,

Fall

From

My

Eyes

-And make indents on my pillow case

Is this the point you intended to make?

The point on the knife, pointed at my skin?

The

               Blade

                              Comes

                                             Down;

Faster than the sorrow drip-dropping from my tear ducts

It’s dark, it’s cold, it’s four in the morning

And I’m mourning for the loss of self-control.

As the pain finally evacuates my eyes entirely

I see something…

Something enticing, exciting, sharp, shining, and still inmy hand

Should I give in again? Let new crimson tears fall down

                                                                                                         Down

                                                                                                                        Down?

I mull over my choices,

Handpicked, only a select few made it through

Which will it be? A death sentence or setting me free?

 

                                                            Rise

                                             To

                              Starts

Anticipation

As I come to my decision.

I am stronger than the urge, the impulse, and the need

I am better than the blood that could be dripping from mybody

So I take the final steps, I throw that blade away

                                             Ascent

                              My

And I make

To live the healthy way

 

Numb

Posted by Laura on August 1, 2013 at 11:45 PM Comments comments (11)

I’m numb to the sadness

I’m numb to the pain

I’m numb when you hold me

Numb when you say my name

Numb when you whisper sweet nothings

In my numb ear

I’m numb to the names you call me

Numb to my fear

But I’m not numb to the scale

And the way it calls me fat

I’m not numb when I don’t eat

What do you think of that?

When I’m throwing up, there’s no way to be numb

I just feel like I’m dying because I don’t fit into ones

I’m numb ‘cause I’m not worth it

‘Cause I can’t purge well enough

Sometimes being skinny

Is just too tough

 

The Hospital Visit

Posted by Laura on July 11, 2013 at 11:15 PM Comments comments (4)

I took a blade and dug it deep

I told you a secret you could not keep

You told your mom, you told your dad

That was the last night of freedom I ever had

They took my blade, they took my knife

They took control of my entire life

And pretty soon they sent me away

To a “better place” where I could stay

Isolated from all my friends

I longed and yearned for my life to end

I couldn’t see their final goal

To try and save me, make me whole

I cried and stayed up night after night

Spit out my pills and started fights

It seemed as though I’d stay there forever

I couldn’t be with my family, unhappy together

That way at least I wouldn’t be sad alone

‘Cause it seemed like that’s all we’ve ever known

But in reality my parents were okay

It was really only me who felt that way

Somehow my attitude turned around

I started to know I didn’t need to feel down

I didn’t need to drag a blade across my skin

My negative thoughts couldn’t make me give in

I was getting better and the doctors could tell

So eventually I got to leave that hell

Now I’m working on bettering my life

No longer a slave to that wretched knife

I threw away that rusty old thing

Who knew what happiness a hospital visit could bring

 

An Unhealthy Spirit

Posted by Harlie<3 on May 10, 2013 at 8:55 AM Comments comments (0)

An Unhealthy Spirit

 

Im confusing my dreams with real life,

I cant stop needing to use the knife.

It has been my closest faithful friend,

and I feel always will be until the end.

 It has made me suffer and helped me bleed,

just like everything else in my life, but this be different and helps me find the relief, it has
become something that i need.

The relief of suffering hurt and pain,

I will cry alone and sit in the rain.

 Letting all beat down on me,

only to find the emotions are killing thee.

I try to cope and feel the hope,

but all i can feel is the sound of a dropping rope.

 It's taking me further and further down,

maybe ill jump to hit the ground.

Or will I stand here to continue the suffer,

I jump from one sinful thing to another.

 I cannot find a peaceful part of mind,

to help me heal from these suicidal signs.

Because my mind is broken and will never be complete,

maybe i will go get help and take a healthy seat.

 A seat in heaven or a seat in hell,

I wish there were another way to get out of this broken spell.

I feel for me to hope, is only to wish on something fatal,

Im hoping something clicks in me to stay and tell my tale.

 Helping others cope with there broken spirits and hearts,

so this way noone else has to feel this pain ive left with scars.

Picture This

Posted by Harlie<3 on May 9, 2013 at 12:05 AM Comments comments (0)

Picture this

 

Picture me as happy as i was once before,

picture that strong self being just once more.

Remember how I lasted so long through the dark,

taking in each breath, one last rocky rode to mark.

Picture me standing there happy with flowers in my hair,

saying the things that made your heart go souring through the air.

Picture me as the greatest thing that youve ever had,

walking down a path that you know wont make me sad.

Take a neal on the ground and ask just once more,

how can i make these thoughts and feelings go away, instead they shake me to my core.

Loving the ways of everything, not giving up an inch,

if this was a dream i am in, the emotions need a pinch.

But who can take me... out of this mindset, of being so dam lost,

only I, could do it, but it always comes with a cost.

If there could be a painting of the emotions that give me a nudge,

it would be in both bright and dark colors, spiraling into a smudge.

The dreams that are surrounding me in every inch of fear,

scare me because when i wake again, i should shed a tear.

Picture me as a beautiful, and satisfying one to life,

and hopefully this ficticious person doesnt in reality use the knife.

How can someone that seems so happy, be at such high stakes,

its because the only side she shows, is so easy but hard to fake.

How can i possibly get told im so kind,

but yet still have this fighting war in my mind.

Tossing and turning and fixing to shape,

this person feels as though her mind has gotten raped.

Of all that hurts her, and yet is still so kind,

no matter the hurt she still has a caring mind.

 So picture this,

as this is a twist.

 Picture this mind perfect, with plenty of love to spare,

because the pain she is caused is something on the outside she will not wear.

 not on her sleeve, or on her cheek,

but the love she wears all over,

as people stomp on her in the street.

 

Renew Me

Posted by Harlie<3 on May 8, 2013 at 6:45 PM Comments comments (0)

Renew Me

If you knew how much it hurts me when you say the things you say,

You would realize you crush me in so many different ways.

 All of these peices go tumbling down into this black whole in my heart,

with all of these emotions im baring im falling completely apart.

 I realize all the intentions people have are vicious and taking a tole,

All of these deep thoughts I have are much to hard to pull.

 But I drag them along with me, as i create a new step with every intent,

Along with the harder creations in life thrown on me that will be sent.

To Push Or To Pull

Posted by Harlie<3 on May 8, 2013 at 3:50 PM Comments comments (0)

To Push Or To Pull

 

I'd hoped that we would find a place,

That we shouldnt have to change our pace.

For my racing heart cant slow to see,

The choices that there has to be.

 If sticking by you was a painful choice,

I wish I wouldve listened to the better opinion voiced.

The one little voice that wasnt mine,

It was someone of a different kind.

 Something that I wasnt used to,

I thought please leave because im no good for you.

This voice continued to stick around,

Even with the violence for my life they had been surround.

 I had pushed and pulled and from people chased there love around,

but yet this new being kept me level to ground,

And from this new person love was easy to be found.

 
I ask why anyone would stay with me,

For the love I am used to is very unhealthy.

I feel like I should be treated worse,

These memories I have are such a curse.

 
But sooner or later I shall let them go,

Just to finally let my life flow.

 


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