|Posted by Laura on July 4, 2015 at 12:35 AM||comments (0)|
My eyes burn because you set my heart on fire
And even though this smoke is thick and putrid, I can see just how this will end
We get caught up in infernos, staring at them because they're bright and shiny-
just like the tears that were glistening down my face when you set your sights on me.
But even water gets stagnant and filthy and soon enough my glittering eyes turned into empty windows of a burning house-
chaotic but contained
|Posted by Laura on April 9, 2015 at 10:20 PM||comments (0)|
I do not feel sorry for myself
I feel trapped
Trapped like when you said we were playing hide and seek
But no one found us and now
I only remember being upset that all the kids started eating pizza and playing games without me
But I was helpless and upset that no one missed me enough to wonder why I was gone -
Why we were gone
There was never any game except the game of tricking me into the dark with you
I was excited to play
But I didn’t know what I’d lose.
|Posted by Laura on January 16, 2015 at 1:55 AM||comments (0)|
Lingering like a bad taste
I was born with destruction in my bones
And as I’ve grown older it has nestled in my heart
And made a home in my mind.
I’ve watched as everyone around me crumbles down
When people start to get close to me and my mind,
I must warn them that they’re treading dark waters.
Some don’t know how to swim and just watch from the shore.
Those that brave the white caps of my emotions may not completely understand the dangers that they face
When the time comes and they realize they’re on their way to rocky waterfalls and stormy skies, they set sail in a separate direction
In the end everyone leaves and I am
|Posted by Laura on January 16, 2015 at 1:55 AM||comments (0)|
How does it feel spending all your hours attached to a piece of furniture?
You love that couch more than you love me
My heartbeats must not be soft enough like the two cushions that you worship - floral, lifeless.
They own your soul and that’s why you spend your days there,
Lying like it’s a part of you.
I sometimes ponder if I burned that damned thing, would you leave?
Or would you sit in the place where it once stood – desperate, disoriented.
I am plagued by an inanimate object that you cater to.
It is okay to disappoint your flesh and blood, but not your block of fabric and springs.
In a sense it is perfect: no conflict or emotions, just a steady, stable piece work of man waiting for you with open arms.
While I am flawed: an unpredictable, broken, hurricane of emotions waiting for you with bleeding arms.
No wonder you choose to place your love where you do.
|Posted by Laura on June 4, 2014 at 2:15 AM||comments (0)|
You leave me in stitches, but not from laughter
|Posted by Laura on July 11, 2013 at 11:15 PM||comments (4)|
I took a blade and dug it deep
I told you a secret you could not keep
You told your mom, you told your dad
That was the last night of freedom I ever had
They took my blade, they took my knife
They took control of my entire life
And pretty soon they sent me away
To a “better place” where I could stay
Isolated from all my friends
I longed and yearned for my life to end
I couldn’t see their final goal
To try and save me, make me whole
I cried and stayed up night after night
Spit out my pills and started fights
It seemed as though I’d stay there forever
I couldn’t be with my family, unhappy together
That way at least I wouldn’t be sad alone
‘Cause it seemed like that’s all we’ve ever known
But in reality my parents were okay
It was really only me who felt that way
Somehow my attitude turned around
I started to know I didn’t need to feel down
I didn’t need to drag a blade across my skin
My negative thoughts couldn’t make me give in
I was getting better and the doctors could tell
So eventually I got to leave that hell
Now I’m working on bettering my life
No longer a slave to that wretched knife
I threw away that rusty old thing
Who knew what happiness a hospital visit could bring
|Posted by Harlie<3 on May 10, 2013 at 8:55 AM||comments (0)|
An Unhealthy Spirit
Im confusing my dreams with real life,
I cant stop needing to use the knife.
It has been my closest faithful friend,
and I feel always will be until the end.
It has made me suffer and helped me bleed,
just like everything else in my life, but this be different and helps me find the relief, it has
become something that i need.
The relief of suffering hurt and pain,
I will cry alone and sit in the rain.
Letting all beat down on me,
only to find the emotions are killing thee.
I try to cope and feel the hope,
but all i can feel is the sound of a dropping rope.
It's taking me further and further down,
maybe ill jump to hit the ground.
Or will I stand here to continue the suffer,
I jump from one sinful thing to another.
I cannot find a peaceful part of mind,
to help me heal from these suicidal signs.
Because my mind is broken and will never be complete,
maybe i will go get help and take a healthy seat.
A seat in heaven or a seat in hell,
I wish there were another way to get out of this broken spell.
I feel for me to hope, is only to wish on something fatal,
Im hoping something clicks in me to stay and tell my tale.
Helping others cope with there broken spirits and hearts,
so this way noone else has to feel this pain ive left with scars.
|Posted by Harlie<3 on May 9, 2013 at 12:05 AM||comments (0)|
Picture me as happy as i was once before,
picture that strong self being just once more.
Remember how I lasted so long through the dark,
taking in each breath, one last rocky rode to mark.
Picture me standing there happy with flowers in my hair,
saying the things that made your heart go souring through the air.
Picture me as the greatest thing that youve ever had,
walking down a path that you know wont make me sad.
Take a neal on the ground and ask just once more,
how can i make these thoughts and feelings go away, instead they shake me to my core.
Loving the ways of everything, not giving up an inch,
if this was a dream i am in, the emotions need a pinch.
But who can take me... out of this mindset, of being so dam lost,
only I, could do it, but it always comes with a cost.
If there could be a painting of the emotions that give me a nudge,
it would be in both bright and dark colors, spiraling into a smudge.
The dreams that are surrounding me in every inch of fear,
scare me because when i wake again, i should shed a tear.
Picture me as a beautiful, and satisfying one to life,
and hopefully this ficticious person doesnt in reality use the knife.
How can someone that seems so happy, be at such high stakes,
its because the only side she shows, is so easy but hard to fake.
How can i possibly get told im so kind,
but yet still have this fighting war in my mind.
Tossing and turning and fixing to shape,
this person feels as though her mind has gotten raped.
Of all that hurts her, and yet is still so kind,
no matter the hurt she still has a caring mind.
So picture this,
as this is a twist.
Picture this mind perfect, with plenty of love to spare,
because the pain she is caused is something on the outside she will not wear.
not on her sleeve, or on her cheek,
but the love she wears all over,
as people stomp on her in the street.
|Posted by Harlie<3 on May 8, 2013 at 3:50 PM||comments (0)|
To Push Or To Pull
I'd hoped that we would find a place,
That we shouldnt have to change our pace.
For my racing heart cant slow to see,
The choices that there has to be.
If sticking by you was a painful choice,
I wish I wouldve listened to the better opinion voiced.
The one little voice that wasnt mine,
It was someone of a different kind.
Something that I wasnt used to,
I thought please leave because im no good for you.
This voice continued to stick around,
Even with the violence for my life they had been surround.
I had pushed and pulled and from people chased there love around,
but yet this new being kept me level to ground,
And from this new person love was easy to be found.
I ask why anyone would stay with me,
For the love I am used to is very unhealthy.
I feel like I should be treated worse,
These memories I have are such a curse.
But sooner or later I shall let them go,
Just to finally let my life flow.
|Posted by Laura on April 30, 2013 at 2:15 PM||comments (0)|
I cannot even bring myself
To put two parts into whole,
Plath, you’ve made a cruel mistake
Taken talent from this world,
But I bathe in the decision you made
Oh your death is one last thing this sad,
Pathetic girl has heard.
You tried to write and rewrite
Death out of your life
But the only thing that left your side
Was the last breath of your -cide
I make my final move
Sylvia, your legacy is something that I choose.