Poems

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Light in the Attic

Posted by Laura on July 4, 2015 at 12:35 AM Comments comments (0)

 

 

My eyes burn because you set my heart on fire

And even though this smoke is thick and putrid, I can see just how this will end

We get caught up in infernos, staring at them because they're bright and shiny-

just like the tears that were glistening down my face when you set your sights on me.

But even water gets stagnant and filthy and soon enough my glittering eyes turned into empty windows of a burning house-

chaotic but contained

and condemned.


The Closet Where I Lost Myself

Posted by Laura on April 9, 2015 at 10:20 PM Comments comments (0)

 


 

I do not feel sorry for myself

I feel trapped

Trapped like when you said we were playing hide and seek

But no one found us and now

I only remember being upset that all the kids started eating pizza and playing games without me

But I was helpless and upset that no one missed me enough to wonder why I was gone -

Why we were gone

There was never any game except the game of tricking me into the dark with you

I was excited to play

But I didn’t know what I’d lose.

 


Hunger Pangs

Posted by Laura on January 16, 2015 at 1:55 AM Comments comments (0)

The familiar pangs of hunger are eating away at me

It’s sort of like a trigger that I want to pull constantly

Will power, or lack thereof, has always been a flaw of mine

But I remember my rib bones and hip valley replaced by this bulging waistline

So I close my eyes and smoke some nicotine,

Curbing my appetite with more doses of caffeine

Soon I will be thin, gossamer, and frail

As long as I don’t give in, lose myself, or fail.

Alone in the Storm

Posted by Laura on January 16, 2015 at 1:55 AM Comments comments (0)

Pain aches

Lingering like a bad taste

I was born with destruction in my bones

And as I’ve grown older it has nestled in my heart

And made a home in my mind.

I’ve watched as everyone around me crumbles down

When people start to get close to me and my mind,

I must warn them that they’re treading dark waters.

Some don’t know how to swim and just watch from the shore.

Those that brave the white caps of my emotions may not completely understand the dangers that they face

When the time comes and they realize they’re on their way to rocky waterfalls and stormy skies, they set sail in a separate direction

In the end everyone leaves and I am

Alone.

Beauty Didn't Last

Posted by Laura on January 16, 2015 at 1:55 AM Comments comments (0)

You said you loved the way words flowed from my mind

Like a waterfall through my veins, down to my hand, and onto paper.

You liked the way they looked, splashed across the page

And you liked the sounds they formed when they escaped my chapped lips

And when you read the words I could not speak, you told me I was beautiful.

I invested my emotions with you and you caressed my damaged soul

Even though we knew I’d never be whole, we stitched up a friendship that held me together

It was like makeshift glue whenever I was with you

We completed a circuit around each other and ignited our hearts and minds

But that brilliance couldn’t last and it eventually burned out.

You were fading into the distance, drifting further away

But you had the thread to my stitched up soul, my stitched up heart

You unraveled me and I couldn’t catch the pieces of me fast enough

I try to write the pain out of me, purge you from my mixed-up mind

And you won’t read my words.

Am I not beautiful anymore?

The Thing You Love More Than Your Daughter

Posted by Laura on January 16, 2015 at 1:55 AM Comments comments (0)

How does it feel spending all your hours attached to a piece of furniture?

You love that couch more than you love me

My heartbeats must not be soft enough like the two cushions that you worship - floral, lifeless.

They own your soul and that’s why you spend your days there,

Lying like it’s a part of you.

I sometimes ponder if I burned that damned thing, would you leave?

Or would you sit in the place where it once stood – desperate, disoriented.

I am plagued by an inanimate object that you cater to.

It is okay to disappoint your flesh and blood, but not your block of fabric and springs.

In a sense it is perfect: no conflict or emotions, just a steady, stable piece work of man waiting for you with open arms.

While I am flawed: an unpredictable, broken, hurricane of emotions waiting for you with bleeding arms.

No wonder you choose to place your love where you do.

 

9 Word Story

Posted by Laura on June 4, 2014 at 2:15 AM Comments comments (0)

You leave me in stitches, but not from laughter

The Lost Card

Posted by Laura on June 4, 2014 at 2:15 AM Comments comments (0)

i had this card.

it’s a friendship card and it was really beautifully detailed and the words described so perfectly what we had.

i was gonna give it to you on your birthday last year.

i bought it before you distanced yourself. before we fell apart.

i never got to give it to you and i thought about giving it to someone else.

i looked for it and i couldn’t find it anywhere.

that made me think, maybe after you love me again i’ll find it and i’ll be able to give it to you. you’ll be able to know how much you mean to me.

that maybe not being able to give it to someone else is a sign.

but then again, i think i’m just looking into things too much.

what a joke, to think you would ever love me.

Remember Me?

Posted by Laura on June 4, 2014 at 2:15 AM Comments comments (0)

i miss the swingset and how you would tease me for sitting the opposite way, facing the trees rather than the rest of the playground

i miss being able to call you when salty water escaped from my tearducts traveling down my face, making dark, damp indents on my shirt

i miss the way i could tell you anything and never fear judgement and that you could do the same

do you miss accidentally staying out until 4 am and how we never realized that much time had gone by because we could talk and laugh forever

i know “for like ever” implied that it wouldn’t last

but i only realize this now, because you’re not here

you’re not here to share the happy, euphoric moments

you’re not here to empathize when i’m spiraling down, down, down

you’re not here to remind me, everything is gonna be alright; it’s not the end

as cliche as it is, there’s a hole in my heart

and as much as i want a best friend again…

no one can replace you

 

History

Posted by Laura on June 4, 2014 at 2:15 AM Comments comments (0)

History repeats itself

And as much as I wanted to forgive and forget, I could only do one.

So I foolishly forgave you and somehow began the string of apologies,

Hoping you would forgive me too.

What for? Well I must have done something wrong, right?

I always do. And I believed you did me a favor by “letting me” back into your life

When really, I was doing that favor for you.

Time and time again I came to you with struggles and troubles

Looking for guidance and only finding judgments.

I paid the price with others’ money and kindness

To save what I thought was a good friend

You may be a good friend, just not a good friend for me.

Whatever compassion, caring, or kindness you have inside,

You let none of it out for me other than on a superficial level.

And now, because a person’s true nature hardly changes,

You have ruined the generosity and trust for anyone else

Who may tread in self-destructive waters and who may actually be grateful

For the help they have received


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