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About The Advice Column

Any advice you need or help you'd like to ask for, fill out the completely anonymous advice form. I will post the question and if anyone has advice or an answer they can email it to me at [email protected]  Be sure to mention the name of the question you are answering.


Should He Stay or Should He Go?

Dear Recovery,

I don't know if I should keep being friends with this guy or cut all tie to him. Help?
One day he's supportive, another day he's abrasive.
He sees things in black and white with no grey area in between, and yet he tells me that what I think is wrong.
He says he loves me too much to hurt me, yet he won't allow me to talk to him without him swearing at me.
He tells me that I think my words are gold, yet why should I take his advice if he doesn't even accept mine.
He tells me he wants me to stop hurting myself, then he tells me that he don't care because "It doesn't qualify as self-harm".
He says he wants to talk to me in person, but he never approaches me to talk.
He knows I'm still a little scared of him, so he uses his "imposedness" to make me do things (nothing innapropriate).
He says that he's happy when he see me, but he never smiles when I walk by.
I tell him I'm here for him, but then he says he doesn't need my help.
I tell him about my life, but when I ask him about his life he says he doesn't want to talk about it.
I trusted him, then he talks to me like I'm a little kid because I make the wrong decisions.
He keeps saying "[He] f***ed up", but really he's done nothing wrong.
One day you he says he cares about me, then the next he says he doesn't care.
He never used to be like this but it's like his personality has taken a total flip and I don't know if I should talk to him anymore. I still want to be his friend but he doesn't act like he wants to be mine even though he says he does.

-Anon

Dear Anon

Should he stay or should he go?

Sounds like an abusive relationship [even if it's friendship] to me. It may be a bad choice for your own mental and emotional health to keep him around. It may feel good when the good times are around, but are the bad times really worth it to you?

I hope that you can see that the hurt he puts you through is not okay even if there are moments where he acts caring.

-Recovery Through Poetry